being diagnosed with lupus threw. me. for. a. LOOP! (see what i did there?) everyone close to me, every chronic illness message board, every doctor kept saying the same thing over and over - “you’ll find a new normal!” well this piece is my response to that. i don’t think dealing with chronic pain will ever feel normal. but it means i have to create my own worlds of color and light. it inspires me to think out loud, in bursts of technicolor and unfiltered expression. i may not be normal, and i’m ok with that!